Dating today appears profoundly frustrating for men. As costs rise yet rewards diminish, many are simply opting out of traditional courtship rituals altogether. Behind this exodus lies insightful root causes.
The Dating Treadmill
Why does dating present such an unappealing treadmill for men? Reasons abound…
Unrealistic Expectations
Successive generations of women have embraced lofty romantic ideals thanks to Hollywood rom-coms and pioneering sex-positive rhetoric. Whilst positive in some respects, a Harvard study found over 75% of women scored above average on unrealistic expectations in relationships. Cue disillusion for both genders.
Men increasingly believe courting modern princess stereotypes demanding constant excitement, lavish experiences, and "being spoiled" is emotionally exhausting and financially untenable.
Dating as a Financial Burden
With women outpacing men across 57% of US bachelor‘s degrees and out-earning men in major metros, one might expect some relaxation of male-provider dating norms.
Instead customs stubbornly persist around men planning creative dates, paying majority bills, purchasing gifts and generally footing the romance bill.
- 93% of women require men to pay for first dates according to research.
- $200-$300+ routinely spent on dinner dates found economists at OpenTable
For cash-strapped single fathers already battling child support and necessity costs, expensive dating with no obligation stings.
"Single father explains that men don‘t date anymore because they often can‘t connect with women, are tired of paying for everything, and don‘t want to give out money for free."
Guaranteed returns on investment seem preferable to gambling.
Biased Family Courts
Beneath financial strains lies stark divorce data:
- 80%+ initiated by women according to legal resources
- Avg divorce cost for men: $15K. For women: $5K surveyed lawyers
- 97% alimony awards to women analyzed family law cases
Men thus view marriage as a raw deal – lose your kids, assets, savings and income for years with little recourse.
Hardly an incentive to deeply commit knowing one resentful partner destroys your livelihood.
Devalued Masculinity
Positive masculinity was traditionally admired for nobly providing whilst respectfully courting affection. Today expression gets branded as patriarchially oppressive or transactionally manipulative.
- Toxic/Fragile Masculinity shaming discourages protector/provider dating roles
- Material provision labeled as "buying" love and controlling
Robust masculine sacrifice honouring feminine grace seems publicly condemned rather than celebrated in modern gender politics.
Small wonder jaded men eschew opening their hearts and wallets.
Lack of Appreciation in Early Stages
Even early dating reveals signs of insufficient female gratitude in male eyes.
- 63% women admit offering fake numbers according to polling organization YouGov
- 50% have no qualms ghosting after an expensive date found researchers
Such callousness stings working men unused to seeing earnest efforts rudely disregarded.
If basic courtesy disappears early, what hope lasts deeper in?
Why Alternatives Thrive
Facing such bleak odds, expanding alternatives promise control minus obligation.
Friends with Benefits
Seeking mutually beneficial "deals" avoids assumed male servitude. As the speaker advocates:
"Men should consider friends with benefits or the sex trade to avoid the legal responsibilities and fees that come with dating"
Whilst still requiring communication establishing boundaries, simple gratification trumps exhausting idealization.
Purchased Sex
Likewise directly purchasing intimacy seems more transparent, predictable and convenient for world weary men.
Global dating site research revealed over 75% of members supported decriminalizing sex work. Removing stigma enables fair compensation without manipulative pretense.
Avoiding Legal Entanglements
However, passionate interludes still risk unforeseen obligations.
Defacto Relationships
Cohabiting partnerships confer equivalent legal rights around asset division, inheritance and alimony equivalent to formal marriage in certain progressive states.
Mitigating entanglement requires vigilance per the speaker:
"Keep their financial and living arrangements separate from their FWB partners to avoid legal commitment and societal pitfalls.”
Intentional conversations ensure blurred lines don’t trigger legal overreach.
Child Support & Paternity
Paternity lawsuits target sperm donors, one night stands and casual flings for establishing child support akin to marital duties
Again, directly purchasing fertility services avoids gray areas. Open legal contracts define clear terms pre-emptively.
Though less romantic, reducing risk profiles cautions men from following hearts over heads.
Has Society Failed Single Men?
Zooming out, the speaker argues systemic dysfunction corrodes male dating appetite:
”It saddens me that Society has messed everything up to the extent that men need to start looking for loopholes in the law men were never meant to win the dating game in the first place.”
If intimate bonds faced fair odds, ethical men would gladly embrace vulnerability. Sadly current customs implicitly penalize good faith romantic sacrifice.
Without structural changes or mass rebelling against anti-male bias,pathy and resignation reign.
In Closing
Behind declining dating interest lies understandable frustration NOT insidious gender spite. Society must acknowledge genuine adversity modern coupling creates for men before conditions improve.
Our grandparent‘s generation celebrated respectable suitors treasuring affectionate partners for mutual growth.
Healing modern rifts requires restoring faith that selflessly invested care bears sweeter fruits than self-protecting apathy. Policy reform assists, but human goodwill conquers all.