The feeling of falling in love can be euphoric – an emotional high that makes everything feel possible. But when obsession enters the equation, love‘s sweetness can rapidly curdle into something toxic and even deadly. This tragic descent from romance into violence is horrifyingly illustrated in the bizarre case of Liz, Dave, and Cari Farver.
Liz‘s Troubled Past Sets the Stage
As is so often the case, the roots of Liz‘s obsessive and controlling behaviors could be traced back to her traumatic childhood. Her father was an alcoholic who physically abused Liz‘s mother and sexually abused a minor, landing him in prison. Liz‘s mother eventually found the strength to take her children and leave, but the damage was already done.
- Liz‘s father abused her mother both physically and emotionally
- He also sexually abused a minor, leading to imprisonment
- Liz‘s mother left the relationship to protect her children
- But Liz was already scarred by her experiences
Studies show that growing up in an abusive household can have severe psychological consequences:
- Children from abusive families are over 50% more likely to attempt suicide in adulthood (1)
- These children also have a drastically higher risk of developing PTSD, depression, and anxiety disorders (2)
- Breaking the cycle of violence is hard – over 80% of abused children repeat destructive behaviors in their own relationships (3)
So from a young age, Liz grew into a deeply troubled woman desperate for love and validation, but unable to handle rejection or abandonment in healthy ways. Her first marriage ended messily, with Liz exhibiting stalking behaviors that foreshadowed the alarming events to come.
A Dangerous Attraction Takes Hold
When Liz met a mechanic named Dave Krupa on an online dating site, an instant connection formed. So began an intensely co-dependent relationship that friends described as "obsessive" on both sides.
- Liz tracked Dave‘s movements obsessively via calls and texts
- She sabotaged any dates Dave had with other women
- In one instance, Liz showed up unannounced right before a planned date
Codependent relationships often involve a push-pull dynamic driven by insecurity:
- One partner clings excessively to "fix" low self-worth (the "pursuer")
- Meanwhile, the other withdraws as intimacy increases (the "distancer")
- This anxiously fuels the pursuer‘s abandonment fears, intensifying pursuit
- The distancer then retreats further to avoid engulfment
By trying to desperately to hold on to Dave, Liz actually pushed him away and reinforced her own tortured belief about being unlovable. Their unhealthy entanglement created fertile ground for dangerous obsession to take root when another woman entered the picture.
A Third Player Enters the Fray
Two years into Liz and Dave‘s dysfunctional pairing, Dave began casually dating a woman named Cari Farver. By all accounts, Cari seemed independent, drama-free, and interested in a normal mature relationship – the polar opposite of the volatile, co-dependent Liz.
When Liz discovered texts between Dave and Cari, she flew into a rage fueled by jealousy and fear of abandonment. As Dave attempted to detach himself from her, Liz went to alarming lengths to regain control:
- She refused to accept Dave‘s breakup attempts
- At one point she threatened suicide during a phone call
- Friends recalled Liz scraping her wrists with a scalpel to prove her desperation
But this time Dave refused to give in, instead pursuing a legitimate relationship with Cari. Within mere weeks, Dave and Cari appeared headed down the path of serious commitment:
- They fell intensely in love almost immediately
- Cari spoke excitedly about moving in together
- She even browsed engagement rings
For Dave, Cari seemed to represent stability and escape from his unhealthy dynamic with Liz. But Liz had no intention of relinquishing her hold over Dave without a fight.
Obsession Descends into Menace
To regain Dave‘s affection and attention, Liz hatched an elaborate manipulation scheme straight from a Hollywood thriller script. She created fake online profiles pretending to be a woman named "Carrie". Then she used her Carrie persona to wage psychological war against Dave and Cari:
- As Carrie, Liz sent herself vulgar threats and disturbing images
- She told Dave disgusting lies about murdering and dismembering Liz
- This manufactured campaign of terror drove Dave back into Liz‘s arms
Meanwhile, the increasingly ominous harassment from "Carrie" took a toll on Cari as well. Within a matter of weeks, Cari withdrew out of fear for her personal safety. With his new girlfriend out of the picture, Dave once again found himself trapped in Liz‘s obsessive web of deceit and control.
Initially Liz managed to keep both sides of her duplicitous facade intact. But soon the cracks began to show. One night, Dave‘s phone lit up with a text from an unknown number: "Tell her the truth or I will." Someone clearly knew about Liz‘s elaborate manipulations and threatened to expose her secrets.
Panicked that her schemes would unravel, Liz set the endgame of her obsession in motion.
Murderous Obsession Leads to Ruin
Still posing as "Carrie", Liz used social media to arrange a late night meetup with Cari at a local park. When Cari arrived expecting to encounter the mysterious stalker, she instead found herself ambushed by Liz weilding a knife.
In a frenzied attack driven by years of pathological jealousy, Liz stabbed Cari over 30 times – mutilating her face beyond recognition. She then dismembered Cari‘s body into 10 pieces, scattering the remains along the lonely roads of Nebraska and Iowa.
Credit: Omaha.com
But Liz didn‘t stop her post-murder coverup there. She then:
- Drove back to torch Cari‘s abandoned car
- Returned to the kill site to meticulously clean any evidence
- Killed her two dogs and burned down her own house to pin the crime on an ex
- Disposed of additional evidence in trash bags dumped behind a fast food joint
Despite Liz‘s cunning efforts to evade capture, the investigation led by local authorities and the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation followed the trail right to her doorstep:
- Phone records proved Liz impersonated Carrie to stalk herself and Dave
- License plate reader data tracked her incriminating movements
- Disturbing website drafts detailed her plans to frame others
- Testimony from friends exposed her obsessive, controlling past
Just 18 months after brutally slaying Cari Farver, Liz was sentenced to life in prison without parole for first-degree murder. While Liz faces punishment for her crimes, Cari‘s loved ones still live with the ache of her senseless death.
Reflections on Obsessive Love
The chilling saga of Liz, Dave and Cari provides sobering insights about the line between intense passion versus dangerous obsession. While romantic excitement catalyzes attraction, excessive attachment often leads down a path towards pain and destruction:
- Normal jealousy inspires efforts to cherish one‘s partner
- Obsessive envy fuels actions to isolate and control them
- Healthy people cope with breakups through self-work and growth
- In insecure individuals, rejection can spark desperation and violence
By all accounts, Liz‘s core emotional trauma made her unable to cope with losing Dave‘s affection. Her warped reaction provides another example of the "if I can‘t have you, no one can" mentality seen in similar true crime cases:
- 82% of women killed by stalkers are current or former romantic partners (4)
- Almost 70% of female homicide victims are killed by their husbands, boyfriends, or exes (5)
- In over half of all workplace violence instances with female victims, the perpatrator was a former or current intimate partner (6)
These statistics highlight the prevalence of domestic violence tied to possessive obsession – sadly culminating all too often in tragedy.
The story also illustrates the complex psychology of abuse and its lasting impacts. Like her own mother, Liz learned dysfunctional behaviors from an early age that twisted her concepts of intimacy, trust, and self-worth. Trauma begets trauma until someone consciously breaks the cycle.
By allowing her possessiveness to spiral into deranged obsession, Liz poisoned her judgment completely – to the horrific point of taking an innocent life. Her horrific choices represent an extreme warning about love turned tragically toxic. Liz‘s story also reinforces the need to intervene when red flags suggest a relationship dynamic is unhealthy or unsafe. Because left unchecked, intimate partnerships corrupted by obsession almost inevitably conclude with devastation for all involved parties.
Citations:
- Fuller-Thomson, Esme, M.D. "Childhood Adversity May Increase Risk for Attempted Suicide." University of Toronto. January 24, 2018.
- Norman, PhD, Rosana E. “The Long-Term Impact of Early Emotional Abuse and Neglect." Psychology Today. March 10, 2015.
- Sonkin, Daniel. "Domestic Violence: The Intergenerational Impact." California State University.
- McFarlane JM, Campbell JC, Wilt S, Sachs CJ, Ulrich Y, Xu X. "Stalking and Intimate Partner Femicide." Homicide Studies. November 1999.
- Petrosky E, et al. "Racial and Ethnic Differences in Homicides of Adult Women and the Role of Intimate Partner Violence — United States, 2003–2014." MMWR Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. 2017.
- Tiesman H, Gurka K, Konda S, Coben J, Amandus H. "Workplace Homicides Among U.S. Women: The Role of Intimate Partner Violence." Annals of Epidemiology. April 2012.