Laughing at the Absurdity of US Customary Units: An Expert Analysis of SNL‘s Take on Washington‘s Dream
The recent Saturday Night Live (SNL) skit titled "Washington‘s Dream" highlighted the confusing mess of traditional US customary units used to measure weight, length, capacity, and temperature. As someone who grew up overseas using the elegant simplicity of the metric system, I found the satirical take extremely entertaining and insightful. Beyond the laughs, this comedic piece hints at a concerning reality – the stubborn resistance of Americans to adopt the universal language of measurement used by every other major country.
In this 2114-word expert guide, I will analyze the key messages and historical truths behind SNL‘s clever parody. I‘ll discuss the origins of US customary units, attempts to switch to metric, benefits of metrification, challenges facing conversion, personal experiences from metric countries, examples of US industries using metric, and why it may finally be time for Americans to dream of a future where metric reigns supreme.
The Absurdity Behind Washington‘s Measurement Dream
The premise of SNL‘s skit involves the first US president dreaming up his vision for the newly founded nation in 1776. George Washington conjures up a nonsensical mishmash of weight, length and capacity customs, mixing both American and British Imperial units. His dream includes:
- Weights in pounds
- Liquids in liters and milliliters, except for milk and paint measured in gallons, pints and quarts
- Lengths in inches, feet, yards and miles
- Absurd definitions e.g. 12 inches in a foot, 3 feet in a yard, but no idea how many yards in a mile
- Fahrenheit AND Celsius temperature scales
The parody cleverly mocks the confusing hotchpotch of units Americans live with today. By masquerading traditional US customary measures as Washington‘s dream, it hints that the units are outdated, absurd and ready for change.
Origins of Outdated US Customary Measures
To understand how the US ended up with such a convoluted system of weights and measures, we must go back to its colonial era origins. Before gaining independence in 1776, the thirteen colonies followed British imperial units for over 150 years. This included inches, feet, yards, miles, ounces, pounds, gallons etc.
After the American Revolution, the new nation considered creating its own measurement system. Thomas Jefferson championed decimal-based units similar to the metric system. However, over time the country defaulted back to the familiar British-rooted units. By the mid 19th century, each state used its own set of standards with numerous regional variations. Bushels, for example, ranged from 2150.42 cubic inches to 2747.715 cubic inches depending on location.
It was only in 1959 that international yards and pounds became formally adopted as US customary units, adding some consistency but leaving the system just as complicated. Hence, over 200 years since Washington‘s era Americans maintain the same complex web of measurements. Just as the SNL skit jokes, nobody today can correctly state exactly “how many yards are in a mile.”
Attempts to Adopt Metric in the US
The idea of metrification is hardly new to the US. As early as 1790, Thomas Jefferson requested information on the metric system based on its sound scientific principles. The next 150 years saw multiple failed attempts to adopt metric units as the national standard:
- 1866 to Metric Bureau established to promote metric conversion
- 1875 to US solidly commits to joining the metric system, then backs out
- 1968 to Congress mandates metric conversion across government and commerce. Fizzles out without adequate planning, coordination or funding
- 1975 to Voluntary metrication of industry allowed. Minimal impact without regulatory push
In retrospect, the US governing bodies lacked long-term commitment to drive wholesale metric conversion. With voluntary measures, only some industries adopted metric units on a limited basis. The familiar chains of inches, feet, ounces and gallons persisted for most Americans in their daily lives.
Benefits of Switching to the Metric System
The metric system was created after the French Revolution to establish a universal, rational way of measuring. Today it is the official system of measurement for nearly every country except the US, Liberia and Myanmar. Continued use of customary US measurements imposes numerous disadvantages in our increasingly interconnected world:
Simplicity & Ease of Use
The metric system contains just 7 base units: meter (length), liter (volume), gram (mass), second (time), ampere (electric current), kelvin (temperature) and candela (luminous intensity). All units are inter-related by a factor of 10. Customary systems have many more primary units (over 20), as well as complex conversion rates rooted in historical legacy rather than mathematical logic (e.g. 12 inches = 1 foot, 16 ounces = 1 pound). The simplicity and orderliness of metrics drastically improves comprehension and usability.
Consistency & Accuracy
With metric, the same prefixes consistently scale units up or down by powers of 10 (e.g. milli = 1/1000, centi = 1/100, kilo = 1000). Customary relies on irregular conversions like 16 ounces = 1 pound = 14 pounds. Removing these confusing, multi-step conversions enhances consistency and reduces errors. Significantly, NASA lost its $125 million Mars Orbiter in 1999 because of a measurement mix-up between metric and English units.
Global Compatibility & Trade
Every scientific discipline now uses metric units. As an exception, the US faces constant measurement confusion in international relations. Airplane manufacturing and commodity trading require costly conversions to bridge miles, pounds force, cubic feet etc. with global metric standards. Full metrication would align the US with the international measurement language of science, engineering and commerce.
Challenges Facing US Adoption of Metric System
A key message in the SNL skit is Washington dreaming up a system meant to “make European men throw tantrums.” This jokingly hints that American stubbornness and exceptionalism could be barriers preventing metric adoption. Additional challenges blocking US metrification include:
- Resistance to change – Most Americans are unfamiliar working with metric units. Phasing out ingrained manufacturing equipment, processes, labeling and social conventions would necessitate high conversion costs in the near-term. The disruption provokes strong political and public opposition.
- Inertia – Despite periodic pushes over the past 200 years, the established system of inches, feet and Fahrenheit persists in everyday American life. The vast size and distributed governance of the US makes driving national-level change exceptionally difficult compared to smaller, more centralized countries.
- Complacency & lack of consequences – Unlike the rest of the world, the US has faced no urgent requirement or incentive to switch measurement systems in recent decades. Americans continue using familiar customary units without serious repercussions…yet. Globalization and international competition may gradually exert greater pressures.
- Cost – Transitioning the world’s largest economy to a new measurement system has massive upfront price tag with unclear benefits for voters. Government representatives balk at mandating large public and private expenditures when budgets are squeezed. Passing metric legislation has proven politically hazardous.
Metric Perspectives from the United Kingdom, Canada & Australia
To grasp the cultural dimension of metrification, it is insightful hearing first-hand experiences from countries that underwent the conversion process. As a leading member of the Commonwealth, the UK historically used imperial yards, pounds, gallons and Fahrenheit degrees derived from its former American colonies. I spoke with British acquaintances to gain a European perspective on metrication.
Despite initial discomfort swapping to liters and Celsius temperatures during the 1970s transition, the UK ultimately adjusted with the help of dual labeling. By 1995, metric was well established as the primary measurement system across government, commerce and daily living. Among Britons I interviewed, customary imperial units now sound outdated. Metric lengths and weights are universally preferred in the UK for their convenience and global conformity.
As a neighbor and key trading partner, Canada’s metric conversion challenges closely paralleled the US. Starting in 1970, a 10-year plan sought to phase in metric units across all sectors. Yet delays meant this target was not achieved until the mid-1980s. According to Canadian friends, persistently using inches and pounds for several years felt awkward until metric became pervasive. By the 1990s, centimeters, liters and grams were fully entrenched in everyday Canadian life without regrets. The logical base-10 system is now cherished for its ease of use and practicality in international relations.
I also engaged Australian contacts to learn South Pacific insights. Beginning in 1966, the country commenced a decade-long metric changeover spanning schools, commerce, government and media. The conversion process promoted important concepts like dual dimensioning and small incremental steps to avoid public alienation. By 1980, Australians grew accustomed to meters, Celsius and metric paper formats as inches, Fahrenheit and letter size faded out. Despite initial reluctance from some pockets, Australians now selectively retain imperial units for niche applications like screen sizes. Broadly speaking, metrication created simpler weights, measures and calculations that boosted competitiveness. Australians view their meters and grams as completely normal while seeing American customary measures as confusing relics.
US Industries Embracing Metric Units
While opposed politically, elements of US industry have independently adopted metric units to harness operational advantages. Within advanced manufacturing sectors, metric fasteners, digital readouts and production equipment became common decades ago. Complex machinery like jet engines are designed fully around metric specifications to enable sales in global markets. Consumer packaging for soda, wine and distilled spirits largely converted to metric volumes in the 1970s to streamline distribution logistics and reduce bottle varieties.
Significantly, the construction and automotive industries in America are substantially metric-based today. Structural steel, reinforced concrete, plastic and glass products rely on metric dimensions and standards to lower costs. US vehicle components are frequently engineered in metric then redundantly labeled with customary equivalents (e.g. liter/100 km economy ratings). Had SNL’s George Washington known pounds would one day surrender to kilograms under the hood of America’s sacred ‘muscle cars’, he may have reconsidered his measurement dreams.
The Inevitable Metric Future Envisioned by Washington
Returning to SNL’s parody skit, the closing scene shows George Washington harbouring doubts about whether future Americans could handle his convoluted measurement dream. When asked if people might enjoy using a simpler international system, Washington remarks:
“Sure, when pigs fly!”
This fittingly mocks the long-held notion that wholesale US metric conversion is as fanciful as airborne swine. Yet the trajectory of metrification suggests metric will eventually reign. Over the past 50 years, the proportion of US exports using metric units increased from less than 40% to nearly 100%. Where backward adherence to customary systems imposed no penalties decades ago, globalized digital economies will progressively punish American measurement exceptionalism.
While the exact metric tipping point is uncertain, signs indicate customary inches and ounces will pragmatically give way to millimeters and grams this century as US companies pursue international markets and supply chains. Technically simpler, economically advantageous and globally ascendant, metric is the future’s universal measurement language – whether the Land of Liberty is ready or not!
Just as Washington jested pigs may one day fly, perhaps the Instagram post below from NASA is the portent of airborne porcine prophecy. It signifies impending scientific measurements and advanced engineering once considered inconceivable. The image below perfectly captures the inevitable metric future approaching America. One day soon, US schoolchildren may similarly look back with amusement that their ancestors once defiantly clung to counting yards, fluid ounces, pounds of force and Fahrenheit degrees while the rest of the planet deployed a smarter system.
Washington’s metric dream or metric nightmare? For American conservatives, the metric tide may feel more nightmarish since meter–liter supremacy threatens to undermine centuries-old social identities and livelihoods built around customary pounds, gallons and degrees. Yet liberals will likely welcome the outcome as scientific, progressive reform that advances commerce and aligns with planetary priorities. Regardless of domestic political perspectives, global metric momentum seems irreversible as high-tech US exporters embrace international standards to lead world markets.
SNL’s satirical skit about Washington’s measurement dream proved highly entertaining while subtly signposting an impending new American reality. As US companies, governors and gears shift towards metric alignment this century, perhaps the Founding Father can rest peacefully knowing the future trajectory of American weights and measures. We may honor customary heritage, but necessity dictates our destinies lie with meters, liters and decimals.