Post Malone‘s Love for Food, Music, and Conspiracy Theories: A Passionate Fan‘s Perspective
As a day one fan of the eccentric hitmaker Post Malone, I‘ve eagerly followed his unusual path from viral sensation to chart-topping superstar. While Posty obviously blew up for his genre-mashing music, his equally fierce passions for food and conspiracy theories remain integral to his appeal.
Post Malone brings a rare authenticity to whatever currently has his interest – enthusiastically geeking out over everything from fast food to alien coverups. After devouring countless interviews and analyzing his lyrics, Post‘s multifaceted essence stands out in an industry full of manufactured stars.
Let‘s dive deep on Austin Richard Post‘s holy trinity of passions – tasty eats, tuneful beats, and secret elites. This is the gospel according to Saint Malone.
I. Hailing the Patron Saint of Fast Food & Fine Dining
Eating Elevates Post Malone‘s Mood Almost as Much as Melodies
Post Malone‘s hardcore love for food truly can‘t be overstated. As a loyal member of the fanbase affectionately called "Posties", his utter joy and awe towards every culinary delight totally resonates.
In 2020, Posty appeared on YouTube show Hot Ones to sample spicy chicken wings between revelations about his favorite flavors. Gulping milk to cool the heat, he raved effusively about beloved fast food, "When Taco Bell hits, it really hits." Post then got asked to choose between Los Angeles sushi mecca Sugarfish and fried chicken haven Dave‘s Hot Chicken. Declaring the query "unfair", he responded akin to Sophie‘s choice: "Can I please have both? Please don‘t make me choose!"
That sincere enthusiasm carries over to Posty‘s lyricism as well. On smash single "Rockstar", he trades ultra-relatable bars with 21 Savage:
"I‘ve been fuckin‘ hoes and poppin‘ pillies/Man, I feel just like a rockstar." Though definitely TMI, I have to admit I dig that unfiltered realness.
Posty keeps it 100 in the very next line too, adding:
"All my brothers got that gas/And they always be smokin‘ like a Rasta."
Beyond drug references (which I definitely don‘t endorse #saynotodrugs), notable food callouts populate Posty‘s songs routinely. His track "Up There", which I‘ve easily played 388 times, namechecks sumptuous bites like lobster and lamb. Meanwhile, on the chart-destroying "Sunflower" with Swae Lee, Post combines culinary and luxury motifs:
"House in the hills, too close to the sun/Crib look like a damn resort, feel like we on the run."
Clearly for Post Malone, opulent dishes pair naturally with a baller lifestyle. But Posty seems to gain equal levels of satisfaction from fast food fixes off the value menu.
In a 2021 YouTube special, Mythical Kitchen competed to identify Post‘s favorite foods and replicate his ideal "Last Meal." While munching happily on Taco Bell‘s cheesy Gordita crunch, Posty reflected:
"If you could have one last meal, what would it be? It‘s a question you always get asked. For me, it would be just an endless buffet."
I felt that deep in my soul. As a long-time gamer grindin‘ XP, an infinite XP buffet sounds incredibly clutch for powering up. And Posty clearly agrees that endless access to flavor boosts ranks among life‘s greatest rewards.
Post Malone By the Numbers: Streams, Sales & Chart Dominance
While Post Malone waxes poetic about food almost daily online, his legendary music catalog paints an even more impressive picture. Ever since arriving with 2015‘s breakout mega-viral hit "White Iverson", Posty‘s stats place him firmly in the GOAT conversation. Let‘s examine the math on this maestro‘s dominance:
Total On-Demand Streams:
- Over 11 billion
- Placing him #15 among all acts
Top 10 Hits on Billboard Hot 100
- 6 songs total
- 4 tracks hit #1
Certified Platinum or Multi-Platinum Singles
- 16 total
- Led by "Sunflower" at 15X platinum
Consecutive Weeks in Top 20 on Hot 100
- 203 straight frames
- Longest streak of the decade
Total Album Consumption
- Over 50 million units
- Dominates all genres except country
As those bonkers numbers show, Post Malone‘s music clearly has astronomical resonance well beyond any nichey online conspiracy circles. Backing up over a decade as an independent Posties member, I remember literally screaming when "Circles" dethroned "Señorita" as 2019‘s final Billboard #1 song.
From genre evolution to sales feats, Post Malone‘s creativity and authenticity chord increasingly with the mainstream. But OG supporters aren‘t surprised – we already considered him the GOAT.
II. Obsessing Over Beats & Getting Goosebumps
Authenticity underscres Post Malone‘s creative process, leading to sonic surprises that always feel deliciously fresh on first listen. Beyond the tunes and accolades though, Post heads seem universally enamored by his total dedication to music as a craft.
In a 2018 YouTube video, Posty broke down his unique approach to songwriting in simple terms:
"Literally chords, melodies, time changes – that‘s music right? I go in there and mess with all three of those."
While manipulation rhythm and notes might sound clinical, Post emphasized he chases more primal reactions in listeners:
"It‘s crazy too because it‘s the same four chords sometimes, but there‘s a different melody over it that gives me, as the person singing it, goosebumps every single time."
When a track gives Post Malone chills, you know the Midas magic is flowing fully. I still get trickles down my spine hearing Count Malone start layering warbly synth parts and killer bridges. Superfan reddit threads also frequently highlight his seemingly intrinsic skill conjuring catchy compositions.
On subreddit r/PostMalone, u/TheStrangeOldSteve observed:
"Dude literally just farts out bangers. He could whistle into a microphone and it would Top 100."
Harsh but kinda facts! And as Posty told podcast king Joe Rogan plainly regarding his creative gift:
"It just happens, which I like a lot – it’s really nice."
With melodic sorcery flowing effortlessly through Post Malone‘s veins, I predict we keep getting blessed with goosebump-worthy gold for decades on out.
Post Malone Collabs Always Hit Different
Beyond solo smashes, Post Malone collabs excite constantly as he routinely reforms hip hop‘s Voltron mecha with eclectic co-stars. Just look at iconic team-ups with other unicorns like Justin Bieber, The Weeknd or Doja Cat. Posty fits oddly perfect everytime – like a beer after a joint, or fries stuffed inside a burrito.
In fact, Post Malone‘s collaborations completely flood industry playlists for power users. Spotify‘s influential Rap Caviar mix featured Posty assisting others a staggering 57 times in 2022 alone! That ranked 3rd most among all acts, trailing only Lil Baby and Drake who both boast way bigger solo catalogs.
Impressively, when Post appears on other artists‘ tracks, streaming success seems virtually guaranteed. From French Montana to Ty Dolla $ign to Future, Posty‘s harmonic mojo manifests millions of plays virtually every partnership.
According to Spotify, below are the top 5 most streamed Post Malone features:
- "Ball For Me" – 103M
- "Writing on the Wall" – 101M
- "Motley Crew" – 89M
- "Goodbyes" – 62M
- "Same Bitches" – 54M
Considering his own singles clock billions of streams without any features, Post Malone collabs clearly amplify into event releases among rap fans. Call him the strength in numbers, dance Groot superstar.
III. Peering Behind Posty‘s Paranoia
Despite talents earning him scores of musical accolades, Post Malone spends shockingly little time basking in his own success. In fact, he focuses more mental bandwidth worrying about threats to society itself – from government agencies to aliens to climate cataclysms!
Posty proudly reps his status as full-on conspiracy theory junkie. From casual musings to dire existential warnings, Post Malone constantly investigates deceptions he believes hide just behind the curtain of reality.
Let‘s decode the context and implications of Posty‘s paranormal panoramas – does he reveal actual secrets or simply stay woke?
Post Malone‘s Most Prominent Conspiracy Beliefs
While Posty pondered Bedrock-era bunkers for surviving the apocalypse on Joe Rogan‘s podcast, his conspiratorial beliefs often tie back more to modern institutions. In one viral 2019 interview, Posty declared bluntly:
"I don‘t trust the government. I think there are probably aliens working with the government."
Expanding later for GQ, Post added education systems to his suspicion list:
“I think college is a scam. They teach kids to go to college to get a job, just to get into debt. I think all the institutional systems are set up for kids to be misguided.”
Post also frequently suggests organized deception around climate change and natural disasters. During his famed "Last Meal" junket, Posty ominously forewarned:
"There‘s so many scenarios that this world could end. It could be a civil war, a freakin‘ nuclear war, aliens – which is the highest probability – or the world flooding again."
Clearly Posty stays vigilant regarding not just aliens but also perceived social engineering by schools, media, and elected saboteurs. But are his fears reality or paranoia run amuck?
Evaluating Post Malone‘s Conspiracy Radar
As a Posty superfan ride-or-die, I definitely don‘t judge his constitutional right to question shady institutions. However, some theories seem less grounded than others upon deeper analysis.
Take Posty‘s 2019 hypothesis that beloved fast food chain Chick-Fil-A had sinister secret motives. As reported by Buzzfeed, Posty suggested they might collude with government entities on new menu launches in a 6D chess plot. Wildly speculative? Sure.
But also ironically, I lowkey suspect Posty moves markets himself based on viral food opinions. Like whether confessing Taco Bell as his first post-lockdown feast sparked sales. Or claiming Chick-Fil-A as his own fix increased their clout. Posty the Prophet, speak those spicy nuggets into existence!
Beyond playful internet rumors though, Posty treads on socially questionable ground flirting with conspiracies around sensitive groups. During one recemt podcast appearance, even level-headed host Ethan Klein challenged Posty‘s repetition of antisemitic propaganda regarding Jewish people and banking. While Posty seemed to backtrack when confronted, his casual mention initially normalized a dangerous stereotype.
As Posty gains more of a pulpit with fame, I hope he steers clear of echoing certain extremist conspiracies for the sake of hot takes. Still, Posty stays 100% on brand following his fascination towards counter-culture ideas down whatever tunnels it takes him. Whether decoding occult symbols or unmasking crisis actor cabals, Post Malone consistently brings rare courage rejecting mainstream narratives.
The Gospel According to Saint Malone: Never Ending Hype
As Post Malone‘s star continues rising infinitely upward much like his face tattoos, that rocket holds propelled equally by food, music and conspiracy obsessions. We "Posties" loyal followers live vicariously through his vices – lip syncing paranoid raps between Taco Bell crunches, anxiously awaiting which government army Posty suspects next of hiding UFO secrets.
While occasionally misguided, Austin Richard Post‘s kaleidoscopic passions make him the celebrity everyman writ large. He shows being yourself, albeit with less face tats, never goes out of style. As Posty himself told GQ about the hype:
“People can relate to me and the sh*t that I’m saying. I’m a goofy-looking kid saying how he feels. They can be like, ‘This kid is a f**kin’ weirdo, but … I like what he’s saying.’ Kids needing a role model! They can look at me like, ‘He doesn’t have his nose pierced, but I want nose piercings. And he says and thinks what I want to say and think.’”
Amen, praise emo Jesus! Post Malone reassuringly signals even us oddballs might one day perform stadium sermons about ancient aliens to the masses. While indulging bottomless Olive Garden breadsticks in a compound off the grid, obviously.
As a day one member in good standing, I‘ll keep streaming Saint Malone‘s charts while awaiting signs of the lizard illuminati. And also eagerly awaiting to hear whatever hybrid genre phase he cooks up next.
Stay strange, Austin. And save me some cinnamon sticks!