Matthew had his whole life ahead of him. A 22-year-old father, he wanted to provide the best future for his beloved daughter. But behind closed doors, he faced a silent, escalating struggle with addiction that derailed everything.
Huffing aerosols to the point of hallucinating daily, Matthew‘s substance abuse disorder was unraveling his life at the seams. This poignant story reveals the anguish of addiction – and the power we have to intervene with compassion.
Spiraling Out of Control: Inside Matthew‘s Inhalant Addiction
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"I probably spend about $60 a day on air duster. I was using it like every hour,” Matthew revealed in his intervention episode.
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His primary drug of abuse? Air duster – inexpensive cans of compressed air used for dusting electronics. They contain difluoroethane, a gas that induces mind-altering effects when inhaled. And Matthew was huffing constantly.
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He‘d lock himself in the bathroom, inhaling right from the canister in freezer-burning bursts. The chemical was shutting down oxygen flow to his brain. “It feels like the onset of a stroke,” Matthew said. Yet he persisted in chasing the hallucinatory high.
This compulsion characterized an inhalant use disorder – substance abuse involving inhaling fumes from household products to reach an altered mental state.
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Per the DSM-5 diagnostic manual, Matthew met criteria like hazardous use, cravings, failure cutting down despite physical/psychological problems caused.
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1 in 6 people have misused inhalants like glue, lighter fluid, cleaning agents by age 14. Their health consequences are severe: brain, kidney, liver damage, blood oxygen depletion, suffocation risk.
Matthew was no exception, binging on duster for the delirious sensations even as extreme side effects emerged.
Risk Factors: Matthew‘s Pathway to Addiction
Addiction never stems from a single cause. So what vulnerability factors made Matthew slide into compulsive huffing?
His traumatic childhood was likely the primary driver.
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Matthew described constant, heated conflict between his parents. Shouting and physical fights left him feeling powerless. This early chronic stress created changes in his developing brain.
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Specifically, it sensitized his reward circuits to seeking chemical escape. This manifested once he started experimenting with inhalants. Feelings of relief, euphoria, and sensory distortions became intensely reinforcing to repeat constantly.
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Moreover, managing emotions like anger, disappointment, sadness was never modeled effectively at home. Lacking coping strategies, anxious distress pushed Matthew to self-medicate.
In essence, exposure to regular family dysfunction and the subjective distress it stoked primed addiction pathways in his brain.
The second contributor was a loss of purpose and agency.
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Battling for custody over his daughter, Matthew felt defeated after extensive legal proceedings awarded rights to her mother.
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He described suddenly having "nothing left" – no sense of meaning, direction, close attachments. This vacuum left him unrestrained from using duster as his exclusive coping mechanism.
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It also relates to the phenomenon wherein people struggling with socioeconomic marginalization or lack of opportunities can turn to drug use for fulfillment.
In summation, childhood suffering and despair post-custody loss derailed Matthew‘s resilience – catalyzing his dangerous addiction.
The Damage Done: Impacts on Health, Finances, Relationships
Matthews‘ fixation on inhaling toxins wreaked havoc in all facets of life.
Physically, severe risks began accumulating:
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Nerve damage causing burned, numb hands from directly freezing skin while huffing.
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Parkinson‘s disease-like tremors that left him struggling to hold items.
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Near accidents of passing out outside in extreme cold after use.
Moreover, financial instability emerged:
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Matt burned through $60 daily on canned dusters, sometimes shoplifting them. This over $20,000 a year habit far exceeded his means.
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He became reliant on parents for housing expenses when funds for rent dried up.
Yet the most painful fallouts happened in Matthew‘s relationships.
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He described growing apart from friends unable to recognize him amidst personality changes from huffing.
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Matt‘s daughter rarely saw him as trips grew infrequent. "I haven’t been able to be there…I want her to have a father," he lamented. This disconnect pierced his heart.
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Most tragically, Matthew‘s own father passed away in the thick of his addiction. They never reconciled. Matthew remains racked with guilt and grief over losing time together.
Ultimately substance use disorders strain bonds, replacing meaningful connection with detached intoxication. Matthew poignantly embodied this.
Reaching Rock Bottom: Motivation to Change
As problems compounded, Matthew kept using – though he encapsulated the hopelessness of addiction, saying: "When is this going to stop? Just like, end everything about it.”
With his hand damaged possibly permanently, family ties unraveling, and homelessness looming without financial help, he neared rock bottom.
In many cases, hitting intense crises sparks pivotal motivation to tackle addiction. Support groups label this “surrendering” – abandoning resistance towards change.
Matthew peaked in desperation when his struggling mother Hazel issued an ultimatum: get intensive treatment or lose any last semblance of stability. She tearfully pledged:
"You cannot come to my house if you are using drugs…I haven‘t stopped crying for days – I’m so worried I’m going to lose you.”
This reality check touched Matthew’s soul. Witnessing how traumatically his dysfunction affected loved ones brought the severity home. He agreed to get help, uplifted by Hazel’s unwavering compassion.
The Other Side: Matthew‘s Recovery Journey
Upon entering rehab, Matthew discovered a community that accepted him with judgement – something unfamiliar given years feeling like a “degenerate drug addict whom everyone gave up on.”
Therapy equipped him with long-absent behavioral skills: recognizing emotional triggers, expressing instead of suppressing stress, building self-worth. Matthew described how “talking through childhood grief helped immensely.”
He also came to terms with past trauma, even gaining closure surrounding his father through processing painful regrets with counselors.
Post-discharge Matthew demonstrated incredible resilience. He returned to parent his daughter, bonds strengthening exponentially through sobriety’s clarity. Matthew also reconnected with friends.
Most strikingly, hope now steered his vision ahead – he shared dreams of utilizing vocational rehab assistance to find work and even attend college.
Matthew had reclaimed agency over his life, liberated from addiction’s stranglehold. His was a redemption story for the ages.
Final Reflections
Matthew‘s devastating addiction underscored immense themes:
- How early exposure to dysfunction and stress can derail neurologic development, kindling later substance abuse risk
- The tragic erosion of relationships, stability, finances that active addiction creates
- The power of supportive connection to inspire change even in dire scenarios
- How recovery equipped Matthew with the tools to rebuild his world – an empowering transformation
Ultimately Matthew‘s story stresses we never give up on those lost in addiction‘s grasp. Our advocacy and compassion have the power to ignite hope and the strength to achieve lasting sobriety.
There is light for Matthew and the 22 million also battling the demon of substance use disorders in America today. It starts with an open heart, an extended hand, and speaking their story to end stigma. This is how we rally alongside them, celebrating resurrection after every fall.