Greetings gamers and welcome to this intimate guide on leveling up your oral sex skills!
Just as mastering weapons and special moves in your favorite video games takes patience and practice, becoming an expert at going down on your partner requires dedication and an openness to growth.
While porn makes giving mind-blowing cunnilingus or fellatio look easy, in real life, many lovers lack information on anatomy and communication. Their oral abilities fail to launch.
But with some sage advice from sex educators, insights from scientific research, and a passion for your partner’s pleasure, your oral sex game can reach new high scores!
In this guide, I will highlight six common mistakes men make when going down on women along with techniques to skillfully avoid these errors. Consider it your training module for conquering cunnilingus with finesse.
Let’s get started!
Mistake #1: Rushing Past Foreplay
Eager to “jump right in” or believing your partner becomes immediately receptive to genital stimulation demonstrates naivety about female arousal. Just as your gaming console requires start-up calibration, women’s bodies and brains need preparatory activation.
Research in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reveals most women require 10-15 minutes of diverse whole-body foreplay before feeling ready for oral-genital contact. Why? Sexual excitement depends on:
- Increased blood flow to genitals
- Sensory nerve activation
- Lubrication secretion
- Muscle relaxation
- Rising desire/receptivity in the brain
Attempting oral sex too soon short-circuits these processes vital for her pleasure.
Solution: First complete side quests! Kiss, caress, undress and praise your lover everywhere before proceeding below. Heightened anticipation stokes her passionate flames. Savor the erotic build-up.
Mistake #2: Hyperfocusing on the Clitoris
The crown jewel of female sexual anatomy, the clitoris boasts over 8,000 pleasure-sensing nerve fibers condensed within its petite yet powerful glans. Direct stimulation can send your lover soaring into euphoria…when properly balanced.
Just as downing full health potions too quickly produces waste, excessive early clitoral stimulation causes discomfort more often than explosive ecstasy.
Remember, the clitoral tip normally nestles protected beneath a delicate hood. Sudden intense rubbing before adequate lubrication and swelling occurs irritates oversensitive cell networks.
Solution: Approach indirect clitoral stimulation at first. Apply delicate touch against the surrounding skin and outer hood using fingers, tongue, even soft blowing. Ascertain her reactions to judge optimal tempo and pressure before making direct contact. Patience grasshopper!
Mistake #3: Assuming One Technique Satisfies All
Movies frequently show women erupting in orgasmic delight from whatever haphazard oral stimulation a man performs. In reality, partnered sex involves no universal techniques guaranteeing mutual satisfaction.
From kegel strength to nerve wiring variances, all women’s sexual responses differ physiologically. Arousal also impacts preferences. Motions feeling nice at first may overwhelm after swelling pulsing tissues. Alternately, activities only certain women enjoy pre-excitement delight many once turned on.
During cunnilingus, stay responsive. Note her writhing, moans and tension signals indicative of preferences. Ask outright too! Dialogue helps fine-tune your approach from one scene to the next or even minute to minute.
Solution: Customize your oral sex repertoire to each scene and actress! Save assumptions for video game villains, not real women’s genitals.
Mistake #4: Ignoring Erogenous Zones
While normally people reference seven main erogenous zones, nerves providing sexual pleasure actually thread through every inch of our sensual maps. Some surprising areas packing profound erotic potential include the scalp, ears, lower back, inner wrists and thighs.
Alternating oral stimulation focused between a woman’s legs with attention towards these extra hotspots provides beneficial contrast. Varying sensation enables her arousal climbing ever upwards without sudden drops when shifting positions.
Solution: Complete additional side quests for bonus passion points! Suck gently on her earlobes, breath warm air on the nape of her neck, kiss down her spine etc. Rediscover overlooked erotic terrain together.
Mistake #5: Failing to Praise Physical Attributes
Cultural messaging and media marketed exclusively to men recasts the diversity of female genital anatomy as grotesque or abnormal. Understandably this breeds deep-rooted insecurities for women regarding the appearance, scent or secretions of their sexual organs.
Offering sincere positive compliments serves as an intimacy game-changer! Words affirming “your pussy looks so pretty when you get excited” or “I love how you taste stronger as you get close” validate her body’s normal arousal responses. Framing such changes as sexy counters negative self-judgement.
Solution: Include praise play! Verbalizing adoration, acceptance and awe while licking her most intimate places fosters confidence, bonding and mutually ecstatic oral fun.
Mistake #6: Disregarding Stated Likes/Dislikes
You savored every detail about your favorite game before mastering top scores. Similarly, learning a lover’s unique oral sex preferences requires paying close attention.
Discuss desires mutually in and out of bed. Erotic memoirs make wonderful foreplay! Explore between passionate kissing too.
As arousal magnifies sensation, activities once unpleasant transform into cravings while former favorites feel cloying. Respect expressed needs surging moment to moment.
Prioritizing your partner’s comfort tightens trust while steeling you both to share unrestrained ecstasy together. This makes “winning” easy!
Solution: Never assume! Check-in and adjust your oral concierge service accordingly.
Overcoming Psychological Barriers
Socially constructed myths recast women’s genitals as unclean or distasteful places for men’s mouths. These harmful attitudes spark issues like refusing oral sex which breeds shame and destroys intimacy.
In reality, healthy, properly cared for vulvas produce no noxious scents or tastes whatsoever. Natural aromas and flavors vary woman to woman and even daily. Learning to associate this diversity with beauty and biology positively impacts your desire for cunnilingus.
Focus on your partner’s safety, confidence and satisfaction rather than your own hang-ups. For many women, a man willing to pleasure her orally signals deep trust and affection. Are you ready for such sexual-emotional intimacy?
Leveling Up Your Oral Skills
Once armed with insight on common pitfalls, how exactly does one gain expertise at delivering orgasmic cunnilingus? Patience and passion my friend!
I suggest gradually broadening your repertoire from basic to advanced techniques in each encounter before circling back again.
For example: during one oral session experiment with different tongue strokes. The next scene, focus solely on manual moves like rubbing the clitoral shaft or G-spot stimulation. Another round might involve playing with temperature, adding ice cubes and warmed lubricant.
Over time, confidence and positive response expand creativity far beyond expectations. Eventually your lover crowns you an oral savant!
In closing friends, avoid aggravating assumptions around feminine pleasure. Embrace the unique beauty and intricacies of women’s bodies. Let your partner guide the way beyond mistakes into ecstasy. That is the ultimate intimacy cheat code!
Now pause this tutorial and initiate an oral exam! Good luck players.