As a dating coach who works with successful career women, I‘m often asked how to meet and attract men who are financially secure. My clients get frustrated wasting time with broke guys who don‘t measure up or properly value them.
The key is understanding what wealthy men prioritize in a partner and tailoring your behavior accordingly. Unlike broke men just looking to score, men with means have abundent dating options – you need to stand out from the crowd.
What Affluent Men Are Really Looking For
Wealthy men operate on a slightly different psychological wavelength than the average guy. They have the means to access pleasure easily – fine dining, travel, entertainment.
So what motivates them in relationships?
Science suggests that after basic needs are met, men seek to fulfill higher drives by acquiring resources, status, respect, and mating opportunities. From an evolutionary perspective, every advantage that helped progeny survive got selected for.
Affluent men have already conquered the resource game. But their wiring still rewards them for procuring young, beautiful mates who confer status and project success to rivals.
This manifests in the well-documented attraction to hourglass figures, lustrous hair, clear skin and other signals of youth and fertility. It‘s biology, not shallowness.
Understand this instinctual backdrop – and you can spark initial interest easily. But securing commitment long-term requires appealing to deeper emotional needs as well.
Target Their Ego: Admiration Is Intoxicating
Wealthy men accustom to others vying for their attention. But endless validation dulls its impact.
What pierces their armor? Making them feel extraordinary beyond surface flattery.
Channel the reverence usually reserved for heroes. Act genuinely awestruck in their presence. Make it clear you consider their accomplishments incredible.
Men eating up this adulation literally get high – MRI scans show narcissistic supply triggers the same reward pathways as food and sex.
"Treat rich men like children…play a submissive role."
Shera Seven nails it here. Infantilize your wealthy darling just a bit. Coddle him. Act precious about his time as though no one else‘s commands such respect.
Enable his boasting. Laugh a little too hard at his jokes. He should leave your company feeling ten feet tall.
This emotional heroin binds you tight. Now withdrawal pangs kick in when you‘re absent.
Display Discernment: Project Class and Scarcity
Paradoxically, fawning on cue takes refinement. Any fool can flirt for material gain.
The art is making a billionaire feel like the belle of the ball, then pivoting seamlessly back to your own fascinating life.
This conveys discernment – you‘re selective who receives your gems of attention. Diana Vreeland, Vogue‘s iconic former editor-in-chief, described this as:
"Giving quality to the people who have money but not taste, and talent to the people who have taste but no money.”
Channel a hint of graceful snobbery. Don‘t be overtly rude, but act aloof and above the fray. Laugh at others competing for his attentions. Have one foot perpetually out the door.
This signals confidence in your capacity to attract other catches. Now he must up his efforts just to keep you hanging around. Exclusivity feels like a privilege to be earnt.
Assume the Buyer Persona – Clinical, Not Needy
Imagine you’re negotiating a business deal requiring complex strategy. Adopt this clinical buyer persona when dealing with wealthy men.
What moves the needle for you?
What exactly are you looking for that you haven’t found yet?
Dig deep. Pay attention and probe skillfully to uncover his core emotional drivers – the vulnerable underside he hides from most.
Piece together the full mosaic of who he is and what he deeply craves. Then demonstrate subtly how his best life happens with you as his anchor.
This clinical approach builds covert intimacy without you appearing needy or desperate. You invest effort to understand him, not just yourself or your agenda. What emerges often surprises…and seals the deal.
Make Confidence Magnetic
Any secure person comfortable in their skin is compelling. But given societal beauty biases, good looks can actually breed toxic self-absorption.
The formula for magnetic confidence? Genuine self-esteem plus humility.
This manifests as warmth, humor and investing in others before yourself. It smooths sharp stiletto edges to pull people affectionately into your orbit.
When you feel centered and whole, you stop expecting men (or things) to complete you. Your energy fills spaces rather than sucks them dry.
From this place of plenty, focus flows toward uplifting and empowering. You helper, lover and muse all in one.
Set the Bar High Then Enforce It
The risk wealthy men pose? They upend normal dating wisdom.
Hot-cold behavior that would spell game-playing from a broke scrub signals "You intrigue me but haven’t hooked me yet" from a billionaire.
This tripwires women‘s instincts to pursue harder. But without balancing self-respect, they risk debasing themselves to keep men just killing time.
Protect your dignity by setting standards – then enforce them hard and fast.
Demand words match actions. If your gut whispers "He‘s just not that into you", block his number and delete old texts. No exceptions, no negotiations.
Signaling you respect yourself too much for crumbs or mixed messages earns commitment from men truly valuing your worth.
Summon Your Inner Courtesan
Strikingly, much seduction wisdom comes from esteemed courtesans – women famed for enchanting brilliant, powerful men despite lacking aristocratic pedigree.
They secured lavish patronage by offering exquisite conversation plus bedroomskills. But their most useful art was reading men‘s minds.
Courtesans astutely assessed which cultural dimension their suitors responded to best – intellect, aesthetics, athleticism etc. They then poured attention into that channel until feeling fully seen and admired.
This made patrons believe they’d finally met their soulmate who “got” them. Men fell hard, granting courtesans substantial stability and status.
You can employ similar strategies minus literal bedroom antics. Identify the area your wealthy admirer is most passionate about then go deep.
Synthesize his words, theories and quirks into unique insights. Wash, rinse, repeat until you become the trusted anchor he can’t drift far from without feeling unmoored.
Flaunt Your Social Capital
Wealthy men value women enhancing their network almost as much as their bed.
Becoming a salonnièreoffers traction – a charming hostess whom everyone covets access to.
Study the social chess moves of luminaries like Helena Rubinstein. Her beauty enterprise succeeded partially through the connections built holding famous salons.
Rubinstein loaned artwork from her prodigious modern collection to museums, strengthening ties with curators. Guests were flattered by access to such exclusive cultural fare.
Similar tactics confer clout today. Maintain your own diverse, powerful network. Play connector between disparate hubs.
Arrange intimate events where you control the guest list. This becomes a hot commodity. Attending earns social status similar to snagging an Ivy League degree.
Soon suitors vie just to bask in your aura. They offer gifts and investment opportunities to retain access.
Legacy & Dynastic Ambitions
However masterful, most ladies-of-leisure lose their charm once wrinkles appear. They get replaced by younger, prettier versions.
But another trait makes a woman timeless in men’s eyes – the promise of dynasty.
This impulse is why kings were obsessed with siring heirs, businesses get passed down through generations and namesakes retain symbolic power.
Men crave assurances their legacy endures. Having offspring represents immortality by proxy.
If you desire more cement than pretty baubles in relationships, understand and skillfully appeal to this yearning.
Show interest in his family history and ethnic traditions. Ask thoughtful questions about whether he wants kids.
Compliment his genetics – strong jawline, tall stature, sharp wit. Tell him what fine children you could make together.
This sincerity around shared purpose whets appetites far more than pretending you don’t hear his biological clock.
Demonstrate Wife Potential
Even wealthy Lotharios planning to play the field forever react when things get "too real”.
What prompts this existential crisis? Encounters with phenomonal women exhibiting wife potential.
Such unicorn specimens seamlessly meld nurture and drive. They’re trusting team players who still take bold initiative. Grace and grit paired beautifully.
Show you’re this future asset and helpmeet he didn’t realize he sorely needs.
Be down for adventure, yet content doing taxes. Challenge his bad theories, then praise his genius. Make him better without bruising his ego.
Thoughtfully address gaps in his life he’s too busy to manage – household admin, familial ties, health habits. Make yourself indispensable.
Soon your astute admirer realizes he’d be a fool not to put a ring on a gem this rare.
Filter Out Time-Wasters Early
In an era where commitment looks boring and variety gets praised, how do you spot wealthy men seriously seeking partners vs just another plaything?
Watch for investment green flags:
- Emotional availability: Opens up about hopes, fears, regrets
- Future focus: Talks long-term plans including you
- Introductions: Brings you into his existing network
- Consistency: Follows through on words with actions
- Teamwork: Collaborates on shared goals
Men who view you as a specimen for conquest will dangle bait then pull back once caught. But those seeking depth demonstrate caring in their own guarded way.
Pay attention early to filter exploitative relationships and avoid wasting precious fertility years. Vet ruthlessly, parade your options and don’t settle.
Establish Intimacy Rapidly
Some women play impossible to get thinking mystery seals deals with wealthy men. But that can backfire.
These masters of the universe are used to getting what they want immediately with enough resources. Test their patience too long and they wander off towards easier prospects.
Instead establish emotional intimacy upfront. Be an open book who invites reciprocity through sharing in hopes it engenders trust.
Tell stories that reveal your quirks, wounds and secret dreams. Ask thoughtful questions that unmask his.
This builds connection beyond surface glitter. Soon you feel like steadfast comrades, making fences around your blossoming friendship to preserve closeness as dating gets rocky.
Bonds formed early on make weathering later storms together likelier.
Accept What Sustainably Feels Good
When exploring relationships with large power and resource gaps, questions of ethics emerge.
Some decry such May-December romances as inherently exploitative – naive ingénues manipulated by predatory rich men.
But two consenting self-aware adults can craft personalized partnerships too. Not all older mentors are selfishly motivated. Certain nurturing men genuinely enjoy enabling young women‘s advancement.
The key is reciprocal giving – making sure both feel valued and benefit long-term.
Communicate clearly when his requests don’t sustainably feel good rather than silently acceeding then seething in resentment.
State what would help – more assistance with career networking? Larger allowance? Visit your family? Then collaborate on solutions that meet both your core needs.
This gracious reciprocity cements healthy devotion.
Conclusion: Make His Life Radically Better
Attracting wealthy men for love relationships requires understanding their hardwired instincts around resources, status, family legacy and desirable mates.
Appeal skillfully to those motivators. Devise ethical ways to make them feel successful, significant and seen that benefit you simultaneously.
When you become the catalyst that radically improves their existence, expect lavish spoiling in return.
What has your experience been dating generous men? What other strategies worked for you? Let me know in the comments!