The intimate world of escorting remains largely hidden, with few willing to pull back the curtain on their experiences in the sex industry. That‘s what makes one woman‘s courage to transparently share her personal journey so rare and compelling.
Under the alias Frenchie, this escort‘s no-holds-barred interview with the YouTube channel Soft White Underbelly offers unfiltered insights into both the highs and lows of selling sexual services.
Rather than fit the stereotype of a desperate or downtrodden woman turning to sex work as a last resort, Frenchie came from a corporate sales background. Her path underscores the diversity of reasons people enter the industry.
Over nearly 2 eye-opening hours, Frenchie traces her evolution from curious novice, to thriving legal Nevada brothel escort, to globe-trotting independent "sex artist."
The Call of the Bunny Ranch
Frenchie first seized on the idea of becoming an escort after watching a show about Nevada‘s famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel. She became fascinated by the concept of an establishment where sex work was fully legal and regulated.
The Bunny Ranch operates under Nevada‘s unique system where brothels are restricted to licensed rural areas. Workers must undergo rigorous STD testing, background checks and registration. The brothel absorbs nearly 50% of their earnings in exchange for advertising, facilities, and security against risks like difficult clients.
For Frenchie, this initially seemed like the ideal way to explore escorting in a protected environment. She describes the nerve-wracking but exciting experience of her first visit, getting chosen by handsome clients, learning how to set prices and boundaries, and growing increasingly confident under the wing of Dennis Hof, the notorious "P.T. Barnum of Booty."
"The client paid a significant amount of money for the escort‘s services, but their relationship took a dark turn when he revealed a disturbing fetish for having sex with dead people."
While the money was alluring – Frenchie mentions making $55,000 in December alone – she felt something still missing and restrictive about Nevada‘s strict brothel ecosystem. After 2 years working on-and-off under Hof between corporate jobs, Frenchie relinquished the safety net to pursue more independence and adventures abroad.
When Fantasy Meets Reality
In one of the most eye-opening segments, Frenchie elaborates on her experience with an early client – a lonely, eccentric millionaire in his 50s who paid $40,000 upfront to take her on a tropical trip. While the original fantasy of being a spoiled girlfriend was idyllic, his behavior soon became unhealthy and possessive.
Frenchie realized she narrowly escaped possible trafficking or confinement overseas. Her account is a sobering reminder that legal, regulated sex work still takes place on a spectrum. One must tread carefully around the power dynamics inherent in these transactional relationships, where intimacy and greed can quickly become distorted.
As she evolved from relying on income from possessive clients to attaining financial independence, Frenchie says she learned to spot and firmly reject any attempts at control or emotional manipulation. She prioritizes happiness above all else.
đź’° "It‘s until that I told him what fucks us up is that you are a millionaire. And from the start, he is fucked…I wanna put my brick, put your brick. And then we construct our empire."
Beneath the Surface
Common assumptions might paint lonely men simply seeking physical gratification as Frenchie‘s typical clientele. In reality, she recounts a diverse spectrum spanning anxious married men, wealthy travelers, and even disabled clients just longing for intimacy often lacking in their regular lives.
The wide age range surprises some. But Frenchie details encounters with men well into their 80s specifically seeking her youthful energy and buoyant companionship their older wives fail to provide.
Far from pigeonholing her clients, Frenchie humanizes them – recognizing inherent loneliness as part of the modern condition. Their reasons for engaging escorts vary widely, and genuine emotional connections do form. However, Frenchie notes clearer boundaries are necessary whenever those attachments become intense or clingy.
Double Lives
During her early escorting endeavors while working part-time in banking, Frenchie become a specialist in navigating double lives. She shares hilarious stories of awkward run-ins with client "Johns" at suburban grocery stores. Her non-judgmental branch manager shockingly knew of her side-gig all along, ultimately admiring her resolve to leave the corporate hamster wheel.
Frenchie later graduated to flying overseas for European escorting after building an esteemed reputation around San Diego. She found particular popularity in France given her alias. Advertising remained discreet but targeted. Johns passed along her number through word-of-mouth.
Frenchie doesn‘t shy away from the obvious question – isn‘t relying on paid relationships lacking in substance? She flips the premise on its head:
"Attention and love have always been very rare, very hard to get. So we go through the people ready to give it to us even if it‘s not fully real. But we‘re also in a society where women don‘t have much choice."
In other words – genuine care is scarce enough even without a financial component. Frenchie argues normalized marriage has always had an element of women leverageing men‘s wants for social and economic security. Modern rules around courtship seem arbitrary when human emotional needs remain unfulfilled.
Empowerment Amidst Exploitation
A running theme is Frenchie wrestling with the double-edged sword inherent in her industry. Complete prohibition pushes it underground into more dangerous exploitation of women. Legal channels lead to better physical safety protections but still carry financial and emotional pitfalls.
Frenchie insists escorting itself is not inherently demeaning, but making smart choices is crucial. She advocates for financial independence, heavy vetting of clients, rejecting manipulation or possessiveness, and an empowered mindset seeing the work as artistic vs shameful.
"I am so far from being a prostitute and so far from being even an escort. I am a sex artist."
By the Numbers: Escorting‘s Hidden Prevalence
- Over 42 million prostitutes exist globally according to 2018 estimates by the WHO and other aid organizations
- In one survey, over 60% started sex work aged 18 or younger
- Where illegal, sex workers are 60 to 120 times more likely to be murdered than other women
- But in jurisdictions with decriminalization, over 80% of sex workers felt more empowered to report abuse
The stark differences in statistics highlight that policy approaches play a major role in making sex work safer or more dangerous. Even legal frameworks like Nevada‘s brothels carry mixed results.
- Registered Nevada brothel workers experience ovarian cancer at over double the baseline rate
- But rates of gonorrhea and chlamydia are much lower than the average population
- Brothels contribute over $500 million per year to Nevada‘s economy
Societal Stigma Remains
Frenchie reveals even dear friends disappear upon learning of her profession. The disdain cuts especially deep coming from other women. Sex work still carries intense taboo.
Public health officials grapple with balancing real health risks like STD transmission with the need to provide care without judgment. Many support full decriminalization like New Zealand‘s model.
A 2020 study found just 5% of American adults think prostitution between consenting adults should be legal. Over 80% consider buying or selling sexual services morally wrong.
Sex Worker Rights Movement
Advocacy groups like Amnesty International increasingly pressure governments to stop criminalizing sex work that involves consenting adults. Leaders argue that full decriminalization better balances worker rights with coercion concerns compared to legalizing only certain elements.
“Sex workers are amongst the most marginalized people in the world who in the course of their work often face human rights violations, physical and sexual violence, arbitrary arrest and detention, extortion and harassment, human trafficking, forced HIV testing and medical interventions” – Anastasia Divac, head of Amnesty’s global sex workers movement
Coalitions like these conduct research reports, draft model legislation, and provide legal aid to sex trafficking victims. But activism remains controversial with women‘s rights groups split between abolishing exploitation and eliminating stigma.
Relationship with Her Body Transforms
Early in her career, Frenchie admits hating her body – punishing it with drugs and excessive athletic training due to low self-worth. But after hundreds of intimate encounters, she describes the transformative effect of experiencing such desire and validation.
Rather than becoming numb, she sees each beautifully unique person behind the physicality. She makes the powerful point that since we each inhabit one body a lifetime, radical acceptance is essential – changing what one can and loving the rest.
Why So Secretive?
Frenchie reveals close family members still don‘t fully know the nature of her work. Unsurprisingly, secrecy remains paramount to avoid social fallout. But the toll isolation takes leaves many longing to freely share fulfilling experiences without shame.
“Not being able to be open about who I am and what I do to the people I love limits me emotionally. I can‘t completely be myself.”
The secrecy surrounding sex work creates a feedback loop – the hidden nature enables stigma, while that stigma necessitates staying hidden. Sociologist Barb Brents studies Nevada brothels and argues their quasi-legal status encourages similar dynamics where the shame remains locked behind closed doors of the unmarked ranches.
Fraught Public Policies
Nevada remains America’s sole haven for legal prostitution thanks to rural counties permitting heavily regulated brothels. Elsewhere, even escorts themselves risk arrest – reflecting policy primarily aimed to discourage demand rather than improve worker safety.
But sex trafficking and violence still threaten Nevada escorts lacking brothel protections. Critics argue loopholes like escort services that arrange meetings with independent prostitutes undermine regulations.
Some evidence shows stronger social assistance programs correlate to lower aggregate demand for paid sex services in European countries. This underscores that ending exploitation requires a nuanced policy mix – punitive measures alone just push practices further underground.
Key Takeaways from Frenchie‘s Candid Insights
Frenchie’s raw, candid reflections detail both uplifting and sobering sides of escorting – offering insights useful for workers and policymakers alike.
The Law is Limited: Regulations like Nevada’s brothels set helpful boundaries but appear insufficient alone to prevent dangerous power dynamics at the dark edges, especially regarding vulnerable independent escorts.
Care Over Transactions: Rather than reflexively judging men for seeking paid intimacy itself, recognizing that fundamental loneliness drives many to buy ersatz care could encourage more empathy.
Look Beneath Surface Reasons: Frenchie notes money means vastly different things to different clients. Some long for displays of wealth disguising insecurity, while others seek transactional control over lacking agency elsewhere in rigid lives.
Validate Agency: Where participating completely voluntarily, Frenchie considers high-end escorting artistic, emotionally rewarding legitimate work rather than criminal deviancy or trauma-driven exploitation.
The Risks Remain: Laws accessibility services still carry health and safety pitfalls, especially regarding stigma encouraging secrecy. And trauma bonding between providers financially dependent on possessive clients warrants concern.
Unlikely Connections: Despite misconceptions, Frenchie reiterates that intimacy barriers often break down in unexpected places. Invalidating consensual bonds forming between castigated groups shuns their humanity.
Diversity in Sexuality: Frenchie’s corporate professional origin story counters assumptions about who enters sex work. But explains the temptations providing thrills and lavish bonuses missing from employment deemed more “respectable.”
Morals are Mutable: Perceptions on sexual mores constantly evolve generationally. Frenchie argues restrictions around physical intimacy will continue liberalizing to accept broader definitions of consent, agency, and connection.
By courageously welcoming listeners inside experiences still rarely humanized, Frenchie advances essential conversations on the true spectrum within sensationalized industries. Her story offers much for both defenders and critics toward better framing solutions.