April 20th, 1999. I still remember sitting in my high school computer lab when news broke of a school shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado. As a passionate gamer who found community playing first-person shooters like Doom and Wolfenstein, I instantly wondered if violent video games had somehow been involved. We would later learn that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the duo behind the massacre that left 13 dead and 21 injured, had in fact been early and eager adopters of those same first-person shooters I enjoyed. Had the thousands of virtual weapon kills somehow been practice for the real slaughter they were committing?
As a bullied youth myself who struggled with dark thoughts, their attack struck a chord in me. I didn‘t condone their actions, but I deeply wanted to understand why they did it. Maybe by truly unpacking the psychology behind killers like Eric Harris, we can prevent this kind of violence from happening again.
Profile of a High School Killer
Eric David Harris was born on April 9th, 1981 in Wichita, Kansas to parents Wayne and Katherine. By most accounts, he had a relatively stable upbringing without any stark red flags…
Early Signs
There were some indications Harris struggled with aggression from a young age:
- According to his father Wayne, as a toddler Eric would throw violent tantrums and showed disruptive behavior like screaming and breaking things when upset
- In his childhood journal, he wrote things like "I am higher than man, closer to god" indicating possible delusions of grandeur/supremacy
Upon moving to Littleton, Colorado in 1993, Harris attended Ken Caryl Middle School where signs of anger issues continued:
- In 8th grade, Harris and Dylan Klebold got into trouble for hacking into school computers to unlock files
- They also made home videos where they vandalized houses, acted out mock robberies/assassinations, and made spoof hits on fellow students
High school brought classic teenage issues around fitting into social groups and dating – areas Harris struggled in:
- He tried hanging out with the "jocks" crowd but felt excluded
- Had few platonic friendships and no luck with romance
But a growing factor in Harris‘ life during the adolescents years was an affinity for violent video games. Along with Klebold, he became immersed in tactical first-person shooters like…
Doom and Wolfenstein Obsession
Harris‘ ego seemed fueled by success playing games like Doom and Wolfenstein, which let players wield shotguns, rifles, handguns etc against demons and Nazi soldiers. Why did Harris find them so compelling?
- As an awkward teen who struggled socially, the games gave Harris a feeling of competence and power
- The military simulation elements appealed to Harris‘ documented fascination with wars/weapons
- Both Harris and Klebold created new levels for Doom based on their high school – foreshadowing?
In fact, Harris became so obsessed with these games he co-authored a Doom resources fansite called Tier666 which hosted user-made levels, mods, and more for the game. The site shows Harris was better at engaging with others through technology more than in-person. But it also fed an emerging violent ideology…
Paranoia and Hate
What motivated Harris to truly despise society enough that he would want to murder his peers? His online writings provide insight:
- Journals/blog posts show he had delusions of superiority and self-loathing ("I am higher than you", "I HATE the fucking world")
- Blamed "jocks", certain classmates for his social failings – significant resentment
- Despite intelligence, condemned education system for failing to nurture creativity
Most dangerously, Harris had adopted a severely paranoid, conspiratorial worldview:
- Saw society/environment being systematically destroyed by human corruption
- Obsessed over idea that he had special insight into reality others ignored
These delusions of persecution, intellectual grandeur and general hate created justification for wanting to destroy society. And thanks to easy access to firearms, Harris was poised to do exactly that when he and…
Klebold‘s Relationship
None of the attack would have occurred without Harris‘ relationship with Dylan Klebold. How did these two fragile, disturbed teens develop an intimate bond and ultimately carry out such slaughter?
They met attending Ken Caryl Middle School in 7th grade. Their friendship blossomed thanks to mutual interests like video games and defiance of authority. Over their junior and senior years of high school they grew incredibly close:
- Spent most free time together playing Doom, watching movies, vandalizing homes per video tapes
- Shared journals detailing depressed, suicidal and homicidal thoughts
- Fed each other‘s violent ideologies about the world "owing them something"
This co-dependence provided social cover for their mental health issues going undetected and future plans unhindered…
The Planning
Far from a spontaneous act then, Harris and Klebold carefully planned their assault on Columbine for over a year leading up to the fateful day. Their coordination shows motivation beyond simply snapping mentally:
- Began journaling about weapons/explosives they could use in 1997
- Illegally purchased weapons like Hi-Point 995 carbine rifles from friend Mark Manes
- Practiced shooting at gun ranges to improve accuracy
- Built over 100 bombs from propane bottles/galvanized pipes following online guides
- Recorded chilling "Basement Tapes" final words 3 weeks prior
Why did none of these plans raise red flags? Several failures tragically converged:
Parents/friends assumed "boys will be boys" without questioning far enough
No coordination between Jefferson County police regarding 911 calls/tips
Psychology of a Mass Shooter
What does the year+ lead-up and massive arsenal say about Harris‘ mental state? My view as a gamer is that the massacre emerged from a toxic mix of:
- Mental illness – possibly undiagnosed psychopathy/ASPD
- Emotional immaturity – poor coping for normal pains of adolescence
- Lack of meaningful parental/authority intervention
- An outlet in tactical games for unhealthy revenge fantasies
In particular, the military simulation angle concerns me greatly. It‘s too simplistic to say games directly cause violence – but clearly Harris‘ obsession was beyond entertainment…
The question is why didn‘t the parents, teachers and police recognize warning signs like the obvious anger issues earlier? We have to acknowledge teenage confusion gets interpreted via lenses of toxic masculinity downplaying emotional needs…
A Detailed Timeline of the Massacre
The events on Tuesday, April 20th were sadly the culmination of long-unaddressed rage. Here is precisely how Harris and Klebold unleashed devastation:
11:10 AM – Armed with duffel bags of pipe bombs, a propane tank bomb, two 20 round shotgun magazines, nine rifles between them and two knives they approach Columbine High
11:14 AM – The shooting begins outside. Harris and Klebold kill two students sitting on grass then turn guns on three more fleeing teenagers
11:17 AM – Bomb partially detonates alerting teacher Patti Nielson who calls 911. She reports one injured student near cafeteria entrance, pipe bomb thrown on roof
11:19 AM – Shooters enter school, killing/wounding more students in hallways. 911 receives call from custodian reporting explosions
11:24 AM – Harris and Klebold reach library, killing 10 inside over next 7 minutes including students hiding under tables
11:29 AM – Teacher Dave Sanders hurt from shots to chest and back after warning students in hall. Dies two hours later
11:36 AM – Shooters leave library, detonate car bombs. Return inside finding unfired bombs and initiation system damaged.
12:08 PM – Harris and Klebold are recorded on school‘s security camera footage looking frustrated at failed explosives
12:29 PM – The killers make final suicides in library, captured on horrifying live footage leaked later against victims‘ families wishes.
The Aftermath
In just 49 minutes Harris and Klebold managed to create chaos leaving deep physical and emotional scars:
- 13 killed (12 students, 1 teacher)
- 21 additional students injured by gunfire/shrapnel
Just as sadly, the media coverage in aftermath fueled national moral panic linking teen subcultures like gaming to violence despite lack of scientific evidence…
Lessons Learned?
23 years later and school shootings remain an epidemic in America unique among developed nations. We STILL struggle understanding exact causes versus warning signs that could help prevent tragedies.
In Harris‘ case specifically, I believe recognizing legitimate mental health issues masked by "edgy" humor/media interests is critical for stopping future attacks. We also must have:
- Accessible counseling/support groups for marginalized students
- Train educators better to spot isolation in teens as danger sign
- Frank talk on accessing firearms being too easy
- Emphasizing that alienation sparked these killers, NOT video games/metal music
If we can make progress on even one of those fronts, the 13 lives horribly cut short and their families‘ endless grief won‘t have been completely in vain.
Rest in peace.