As a relationship coach with over 10 years of experience, I‘ve seen it all when it comes to dating behaviors. And without a doubt, some of the strangest ones come from men who have feelings for a woman. They‘ll ignore her messages, flirt with other girls in front of her, or like every single social media post while never actually asking her out.
I know, it doesn‘t make sense. And it leaves the woman feeling confused, insecure, and usually quite annoyed. So why do men act so weird when they‘re actually into a woman? What‘s really going on inside their heads in these moments?
In this article, I‘ll decode some of the most common baffling behaviors men display when they like a woman. I‘ll explain the real psychology behind these actions. And I‘ll give you tips on how to handle it when men just seem downright strange in their approach (or lack thereof) towards dating you.
Why Biology Drives "Weird" Behavior
Before diving into several common weird male dating behaviors, let‘s ground ourselves in the science. There are strong biological drivers and chemical chain reactions occurring for men when attracted to women that fuel strange reactions.
Evolution has essentially wired the male brain to prioritize mate selection for reproductive purposes. When a man spots a desirable woman, his dopamine and testosterone surge to motivate pursuit. Neurochemicals like adrenaline, vasopressin, and serotonin then reinforce attraction and attachment [1]. In a sense, his body hijacks his rational mind.
So from the get-go, men struggle against primal urges when emotionally or physically interested in you. This can absolutely trigger quirky conduct like those below as they psych themselves up. Especially if they already grapple with self-esteem issues or past relationship wounds that amplify the inner chaos.
Understanding the science grants women grace and patience. But don‘t let it totally excuse sloppy patterns long-term. Expect emotionally intelligent communication too.
The Ignorer
You match with a guy on a dating app and he seems great via text. The conversation flows, he asks you questions about yourself, the whole nine yards. But then…crickets. Days or even weeks go by without a peep from him, even though you responded and asked him questions too.
What gives?
For many men, the initial excitement and confidence they feel seeing a match or meeting someone they like vanishes quickly. Anxiety, fear of rejection, and doubts flood in.
- In fact, 66% of singles say anxiety impacts their dating lives, especially early on [2].
And this causes interested guys to ignore the woman they previously were so into. Essentially, they start overthinking and psych themselves out.
Image source: Beating Break-Up Depression
Some key reasons an intrigued guy may start ignoring you:
- He feels intimidated by you, like you‘re "out of his league"
- He‘s afraid of saying the wrong thing and turning you off
- He worries about vulnerability and prefers avoiding potential rejection
- He‘s not actually ready for a relationship right now due to other priorities or emotional unavailability
- He assumes you‘re talking to other men and channels energy there instead
In short, his interest remains but his nerves get the better of him. It‘s immature, no doubt. But this wishy-washy vanishing act stems from deeper insecurities and assumption-making.
What To Do
My advice is to not hang around waiting if a guy randomly ghosts you. Chasing him won‘t help if anxiety already overwhelms him. Instead, empower yourself in two ways:
1. Self-reflection. Was there anything in how I communicated early on that might have triggered doubts or pressured him? If yes, make note to adjust that for next time.
2. Forward focus. Either reach out one more time suggesting meeting up in person. Or simply move on knowing it‘s a reflection of where he‘s at, not you.
The Attention-Seeker
You‘re out at a bar or party with some girls. One guy keeps loudly telling stories to his buddies with the clear intention you‘ll overhear. He brags about his job, expensive belongings, intelligence, and other women attracted to him. When you walk by, he practically trips to make sure you notice him.
Eye roll? Understandable. But there‘s a reason for this peacocking behavior beyond just arrogance.
Many men feel evolutionary pressure to qualify themselves to attractive women. Outdated gender roles about being the "provider" and societal focus on their career status certainly don‘t help.
- In fact, 80% of men believe they should be the primary breadwinner in a household, feeling they must prove they can support and provide for a woman [3].
Competing for female attention triggers their primal, evolutionary drive. And they showcase anything they think gives them a leg up in areas like:
- Financial and career success
- Social status
- Physical appearance
- Desirability to other women (preselection)
But also massive insecurities root this bragging and spotlight-stealing show. Men who pursue ego strokes via female validation lack self-confidence at their core. They need external proof or reinforcement that they‘re "man enough" in these areas.
Image source: The Daily Edited
What To Make of This
Don‘t buy into hype and humble bragging. Pay more attention to self-assured men not demanding the spotlight. Confidence speaks louder through actions rather than words.
If you‘re intrigued, gently nudge the conversation to less superficial topics. See if he can let that manufactured ego aside and get vulnerable sharing his real passions, struggles or dreams.
Actions speak louder than words. True confidence shows up far differently from arrogant attention grabs.
The Jealousy-Provoker
Say you‘ve gone on a few amazing dates with a guy. Things heat up quickly, the chemistry is off the charts.
Then suddenly he posts pics cozying up with gorgeous women. He blatantly flirts with other girls right in front of you. In group hangouts, it‘s as if you don‘t even exist.
Why would he try to make you jealous when he just acted so utterly enthralled by you?
In truth, he feels unsure of where your head‘s at and wants confirmation you‘re equally smitten before getting in deeper. Provoking jealousy is a twisted strategy men use to gauge your interest and emotional response.
- In fact, a whole 51% of men admit to making partners jealous intentionally to strengthen the relationship [4].
Additionally, provoking jealousy frequently backfires for several reasons:
- The woman ends up losing interest, turned off by the games.
- She questions the entire foundation of the relationship
- She redirects her energy towards more secure prospects
- She gives the guy a taste of his own medicine playing jealousy-inducing games right back at him
The Root Cause
Relationships are a roll of the dice for me. I need to know she’s feeling as vulnerable in this as I am. So I do stupid stuff to find out if she’ll react. If she does, then I know we’re on the same page emotionally." – Devon, 29
Jealousy-baiting aims to fill guys’ need for certainty before offering up vulnerability likely largely thanks to social conditioning about gender roles. Men still feel they risk more by attaching to one woman. So they create distance to shield themselves just in case.
Image source: Generated Photos
The Healthiest Response
Don’t react or feed into jealous behavior at all early on. Maintain self-confidence and healthy boundaries instead. Then have an honest dialogue about what you both want moving forward.
Say something like:
“I don’t play games. If we both want to date seriously, wonderful. But if not, no hard feelings if we go our separate ways.”
Secure, relationship-ready men will re-focus their energy back on nurturing your budding connection. The insecure ones reacting strongly and re-doubling jealous ploys likely aren’t ready. And that’s okay too.
At least you’ll have clarity.
The Social Media Lurker
Your newest Insta follower? The guy you met at last week‘s networking event. He hearts every single photo instantly after you post. Watches all your Snapchat and Instagram stories. Maybe even sends a few flirty comments on the pics.
Yet you check your DMs or texts and…zero genuine messages.
What gives? He clearly likes what he sees and wants you to notice him. But why won‘t he take it offline and actually ask you out?
For men like this, tapping that heart icon or writing "gorgeous!" under a woman‘s #OOTD post provides instant gratification without vulnerability or effort.
- In fact, 63% of people admit using likes, comments and DMs casually on social media just for an ego boost vs nurturing any substantial connection [5].
It‘s safe. Easy. Non-committal. They get to interact with a woman they find crazy attractive without facing direct rejection. It‘s not the real world where they‘d have to put effort into dating.
Plus, research shows social media activates the brain‘s reward pathway thanks to all those satisfying little notification pings [6]. So giving likes or emoji reactions can literally become addictive for anxious men, giving temporary confidence as they avoid asking women out in person.
Image source: Elite Daily
The Next Move
Don’t play the social media game forever. If you’re interested back, slide into HIS DMs for once. Suggest meeting for a drink or coffee. Take it offline fast rather than posting for his viewing pleasure eternally.
If he keeps hiding behind screens without making tangible plans? Forget him and disable notifications. Don’t let flirtation be one-directional long-term or just for attention‘s sake.
,Prioritize Face-To-Face Communication
Maybe suggesting video chatting first if you met online during quarantine then graduated to distanced park dates, etc when comfortable.
But eventially you need real life connection to nurture intimacy. Limit phone zone-outs by designating tech-free together time too.
That might sound rigid. But humans evolved interpreting gazes, body language, vocal tones and touch…not neutral texts or photo hearts.
Reprioritize embodied presence to balance the ease of lazy digital non-communication. Don’t lose hope. Consistency and commitment still exist.
Overthinking Overshares
You go on an amazing first date with a guy. He asks you out again soon after. Equally great time.
A few days later, he texts you…a novel. He spills all his dating woes from past relationships. Overshares childhood trauma. Says he may not be ready for something serious right now.
Um…weren‘t things going well? Why is he word vomiting emotional baggage to someone he barely knows?
When solid dudes overshare too much too soon or send mixed signals, it’s often because they REALLY like you. These out-of-nowhere deep convos or spiraling monologues happen when guys get in their heads.
Everything feels intense and urgent early on. So they preemptively self-sabotage by info-dumping heavy stuff or questioning the pace. It‘s an unconscious defense mechanism firing when something has serious relationship potential.
- In fact, research finds the brain can barely distinguish between an intense potential partner and actual falling in love in these early stages, thanks to all the trippy chemicals flooding the bonding pathways [7].
Image source: Liv Biosciences
Don’t Write Him Off
Don’t react strongly or just cut him off. Have compassion instead. Say you’re happy to take things at whatever pace feels right and comfortable for him. Give him space to sort himself out.
Often this mini-freak out passes quickly and he’ll re-emerge stable, ready to start fresh. Unless oversharing and hot-cold behaviors become a long-term pattern, exercise patience.
Capacity Check-Ins
Also, regularly check where his heads at if things progress. Say something open ended like:
"How are you feeling about us right now? I want to make sure we’re still on the same page."
This allows him to share honestly without feeling pressured. Then you also won‘t fill in the blanks with worst-case scenarios if something feels temporarily "off."
Openness, not overanalyzing, keeps couple communication smooth long-term.
In Conclusion: Seek Clarity
At the end of the day, strange male dating behaviors often stem from the intersection of biology and psychology. Evolution makes men pursue women for replication purposes. But modern society piles on pressure to impress females and avoid rejection, distorting courtship.
As the woman on the receiving end, lead with empathy wherever appropriate. But don‘t let poor communication slide forever. Keep your standards high knowing what you deserve.
The right guy won’t play games or keep you guessing long-term. He’ll show up consistent emotionally and offer just as much transparency as he hopes for.
Have direct conversations early on about what you both want and expect around vulnerability and contact. If he continues acting erratically or unable to meet you there? Wish him well and move on peacefully.
Don’t compromise your needs or tolerate mixed signals and hot-cold behavior thinking you can “win him over” or a sudden declaration of commitment is coming soon.
Prioritize men who self-reflect then walk the walk matching their words. You’ll drain yourself trying to decode and keep chasing inconsistencies otherwise.
Life’s too short for nonsense and manipulation when healthier connections await. Trust that even if no one’s perfect.
The right partnership dynamic improves both people continually, bringing you fully into the present moment together instead of guarding yourselves from possible pain. It can happen. Just tune out societal noise keeping you stuck in overanalzying.
Reset mental patterns continuing attachment anxiety loops instead. Commit to addressing roots of self-protective indifference, mistrust or control issues hiding under "strategy." Develop authentic intimacy skills by taking baby steps letting someone in a little more over time. That‘s where the real magic happens.