Here is an expanded 2400+ word version of the blog post incorporating additional gamer perspectives, data, analysis and insights on maintaining mental health while achieving online success:
The Perils of Fame: Finding Purpose Beyond Likes and Views
“We create worlds for ourselves online looking for validation from others, but we don’t actually ask ourselves – well, what is it that I actually want? What are my values? What truths am I trying to avoid?”
These piercing questions were posed by Matt Dajlia in conversation with host Nathaniel Drew on the podcast, No Back Up Plan. Matt rocketed to online fame as one of the founding members of the popular YouTube channel Yes Theory, well known for enthusiastically seeking discomfort and daring others to push beyond their comfort zones.
However, behind the scenes, Matt was struggling with social anxiety and dissociative disorder. Although creating viral videos was immensely successful, Matt realized he had lost touch with his authentic self. The non-stop pressure to perform and gather validation through likes, comments and growing subscriber counts had taken a toll on his mental health.
Eventually, this prompted his difficult decision to step back from being an on-camera talent and delete his social media accounts altogether.
Matt’s revealing story starkly demonstrates the darker realities that often accompany online influence and fame. It calls attention to vital, yet frequently overlooked questions – is all the validation we seek online merely ephemeral and hollow? Could prioritizing followers and analytics over purpose, meaning and self-awareness ultimately leave one feeling empty?
The Seductive Allure of Influence Economy
The validation that comes with online influence can be dangerously addictive. As we share bits of our lives across platforms like Instagram, YouTube, Twitch and TikTok – be it through pictures, gameplay videos or personal updates – likes, comments, new subscribers and bits deliver spikes of dopamine, keeping us hooked for more.
It’s no surprise then that 70% of online creators have faced mental health issues according to estimates by TheTemplateView, a startup focused on serving the creator economy.
YouTuber Shelby Church calls this the “creator dopamine spiral”. The initial thrill of external validation pushes creators to keep churning out content, desperately chasing the high of reactions and applause. But as Church notes, “The more you feed it, the more you need to feel OK." This insatiable, unending need fosters anxiety, burnout and a loss of fulfillment or joy in the work.
While social media allows people to find community and gives a platform to voices that may have otherwise remained unheard, its tangled relationship with mental health and self-perception cannot be ignored.
Studies have shown increased social media usage in teens directly correlates with rising anxiety, depression, sleep deprivation, bullying and FOMO. The pressures that come with online fame exacerbate these problems further. The need to continuously up the ante to sustain relevance and remain in the audience’s favor fosters intense competition and tension.
This environment often compels creators to tie their self-worth to ephemeral feedback like view counts, subscriber growth and bit donations. But as Matt’s story shows, building an identity on such measures of validation – no matter how superficially glamorous – can ultimately leave one feeling empty and lost.
High Score Culture: Streamers Risk Burnout In Pursuit of Fame
For gamers and streamers, this dark side of online validation is especially amplified. The highly competitive nature of esports and live streaming fosters a relentless “always on” grind culture. Aspiring streamers pour endless hours trying to build viewership, often sacrificing mental health in the process.
Michael Son, who heads community at live streaming platform Moment House, notes the volatility of building an audience online: “You have people who will support you for a little bit and then move on to the next thing.”
Unlike stable professional gaming careers within esports teams and leagues, independent streamer fame has no guarantees. The pressure to constantly churn out entertainment content to increase views, subscribers and donation revenue is mentally exhausting.
A 2020 study exploring burnout in esports athletes unsurprisingly found that prolonged stress negatively impacted players‘ cognitive functioning and emotional stability. Personality traits like neuroticism raised vulnerability to mental fatigue.
Popular Twitch streamer AnneMunition has been admirably vocal about burnout and depression issues faced by gaming creators online. She notes, “Streamers don‘t give themselves enough credit. Being authentic and putting yourself out there is very mentally draining.”
This also often breeds overwork tendencies, where streamers sacrifice rest, recreation and community to maintain their growth rates – much like Matt did.
Without adequate safeguards, the relentless drive to succeed in the intoxicating world of competitive gaming, esports and live streaming takes a severe toll on mental health. Allowing metrics of fame overtake a sense of stability or self-worth almost guarantees future emptiness.
Matt‘s Journey From Online Gamer to Inner Player
Despite having found immense online success playing the YouTube game, Matt candidly shares, “I lost myself…I lost my identity. I didn‘t know who Matt was. Yes Theory was everything I was doing.”
Making the agonizing decision to disconnect from the 24/7 content demand creation cycle was the first step in what became a transformative journey of growth and self-discovery for Matt.
Of course, removing himself from the epicenter of constant external validation was initially very difficult. He shares how he compulsively checked his subscriber count for months after leaving Yes Theory, struggling to break free from the metrics-focused mindset.
But with time, Matt was able to restart his life, in a way, reconnecting back to his core passions beyond creating for others. He tapped back into activities he enjoyed growing up like photography, piano and fiction writing. Choosing creativity and self-nurturing over productivity allowed Matt to rediscover his inner spirit beyond the glare of the stage lights.
Matt emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in this comeback journey. He reflects, “When you have a better sense of self and you start asking better questions, you attract very different people and very different opportunities.”
The time away from being an internet personality gave Matt space for introspection and tuning into his authentic needs and values. This enabled him to develop a stronger sense of self, no longer seeking validation from external metrics.
Interestingly, as Matt focused on his own growth and fulfillment, he ended up achieving even greater professional success. Together with the other Yes Theory founders, he launched Yes Studios, their passion project production company that has expanded into multiple cities globally.
Matt believes that creators staying committed to the ideas and platforms that originally gained them traction often limits their potential. As interests and priorities evolve, it’s crucial not to cling onto what worked before, but to make space for something new to emerge.
His path mirrors countless stories of top gamers who found breaking away from stagnant routines renewed their passion for play and creativity. Ultimately, Matt’s journey shows that walking away from online validation and fame does not equate abandoning your ambitions entirely. Instead it makes room for actualizing an evolved vision of success, one fueled by purpose over platforms.
Avoiding Burnout By Finding Flow
Matt’s realizations align closely with psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s seminal concept of “flow” – the mental state where one is fully immersed in an activity, energized, focused and tuned into a satisfying balance of challenge and skill. Entering flow through creative acts, meaningful gaming quests or any activity done for its own sake gives a profound sense of enjoyment.
Contrast this to “playing for rewards” that provide only fleeting pleasure but soon feel meaningless. In many ways, the hollowness Matt experienced at peak online fame is explained by losing connection to flow states. Instead his actions became centered around momentary validation spurts, which could never substitute lasting wellbeing.
Gaming live streamers experiencing burnout similarly describe losing the inherent joy of play. Popular Fortnite streamer BenjyFishy announced he’d be taking a break this year, tweeting “I kinda lost the fun in playing the game.” Viewing gaming purely as an engine for fame eventually eroded his passion.
Psychologist Dr Nicole Beurkens notes that gamers avoiding burnout must stay connected to the roots of what brought them joy initially – social bonds, skill-building, imaginative worlds, playing for pure fun.
Centering wellbeing and longevity enables fulsome engagement in flow-rich activities over chasing short-term rewards. Staying true to one’s inner sources of motivation sustains growth in online passion projects without losing yourself.
Reclaiming Wholeness Offline First
In today’s hyperconnected world, very few have the option to completely disappear from online spaces. Social platforms remain unavoidable tools for personal branding, business and creativity. Gaming live streams exemplify the pulse of internet culture today.
But Matt‘s story illustrates that one‘s online presence and use of social media need not be all-consuming. Platforms like YouTube, Instagram or Twitch can be leveraged for sharing your work while still maintaining a healthy boundary.
The key lies in curating your digital habits with conscious intent, aligned to your authentic needs and purpose. Instead of mindlessly scrolling for hours off-stream, consciously cap non-work related social media time. Spend time outdoors, nurture physical hobbies, foster human connections beyond the screen.
Set boundaries before your work seeps into all corners of life. Monitor signs of emotional fatigue like irritability, anxiety, distraction from poor sleep hygiene or lack of downtime fun. Make space for recovery with adequate rest breaks.
Streamer AnneMunition frames it well: “You can‘t pour from an empty cup. You must take time to refill before jumping back into the fray.” Replenish mental energy lost from being “on” through quieter activities like reading, music, meals with loved ones.
Stay connected to communities where you can support others also creating from their soul. Measure “success” by the joy, creativity and human bonds you form through your content, not just video views or follower stats.
Essentially, harvest all the gifts the online world has on offer, while anchoring your sense of self beyond any superficial measures of fame. Create space for authentic self-expression instead of chasing validation. Make room for play as much as workstreams.
Just as Matt discovered, finding lasting fulfillment lies not in winning social media’s illusory game but living fully offline first. Listen to your inner voice for when it’s time to log out and rediscover who you are IRL, only to dive back in rejuvenated for the next quest.
By taking the time disconnect from metrics and get reacquainted with your true needs and talents, you open the doorway for actualizing your highest purpose online, rather than losing yourself to its mirage.
Key Takeaways on Maintaining Balance as an Online Gamer
After Matt‘s candid sharing of his struggles and evolution in relation to rising YouTube success with Yes Theory, here are the key lessons around avoiding burnout and staying purpose-driven as a gamer, streamer or online entertainer:
🔂 Take regular breaks – don‘t be live 24/7. Allot time for self-care.
🥳 Have non-gaming hobbies – stay rounded as a person beyond any online persona
📉 Don‘t tie self-worth to external stats – follower count, subscribers etc. are fleeting.
🤝 Cultivate genuine community – focus less on "reach", more on meaningful connections.
🕹️ Switch games to revive interest – change is good, flow is found trying new challenges.
🏆 Define success on your own terms – enjoyment over ecosystems demanding constant growth.
✨ Stay true to your talents – evolve but don‘t lose connection to your unique creative spark.
The internet age allows kindred spirits to find each other and creativity to blossom at global scale. Yet Matt‘s journey holds invaluable cautions for avoiding losing yourself as you rise up leaderboards chasing validation and greatness.
By taking time to know and nurture yourself first, you can power up wisely for the long haul – spreading delight through your gaming gifts without losing life force.
Ultimately, sustainable success need not cannibalize health or integrity of self. As Matt discovered once logging out, when you step back from chasing clout and find flow aligned to your soul, you unlock the keys to living vibrantly – on and offline.